


all quiet on the storefront

by TheMousePrince



Series: Jennifer and Todd's Caffeinated Adventures [2]
Category: The Magicians (TV)
Genre: Blood and Gore, Catharsis Ending, Coffee Shops, Dark Comedy, Finale? What Finale?, Gen, Humor, once again i try to ruin a childhood memory of yours
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-15
Updated: 2019-05-15
Packaged: 2020-03-05 21:10:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,425
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18836839
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheMousePrince/pseuds/TheMousePrince
Summary: Todd feels bold; Goldilocks is an asshole.





	all quiet on the storefront

**Author's Note:**

> I tried to make the footnotes clickable this time, for an easier read for you all. So you should be able to go from text to footnotes to text again with just a few clicks. Fingers crossed it works for everyone (let me know if it doesn't).

“So, about your name…”

All was quiet on the storefront[i] and Todd was taking advantage of one of the rare moments Jennifer wasn’t staring at him intently, seemingly studying and judging his every moves, to attempt at getting through to him. Hoping that, by making him open up, he wouldn’t be so terrified of him anymore. After all, we only fear what we do not understand. Or what we understand too well that we know better than to not be terrified shitless. Which of the two applied to Jennifer, Todd wasn’t sure yet.

“My name is Jennifer,” Jennifer said, battling with the steam wand of the espresso machine, trying to make milk turn into that shiny foam he’d grown fond of.

Todd winced when boiling milk splashed from the metal pitcher onto Jennifer’s hand, leaving it a vivid shade of red, a few boils starting to bloom on the surface of the skin. Jennifer ignored it.

“And it’s a _lovely_ name, beautiful really. I was just wondering where it came from. Like, what,” Todd licked his lips, “what made your parents choose it?”

Jennifer gritted his teeth and thrust the pitcher against Todd’s chest.

“Show me again,” he commanded, locking eyes with him.

Todd knew better than to argue and immediately busied himself with the machine, ignoring the mess Jennifer had left.[ii]

After showing Jennifer how to tilt the small pitcher the right way, and how deep into the milk the steam wand should go—to turn the liquid into a perfect foam without burning it—Todd took a step back to let him try again.

Jennifer moved with more attention, care, and focus than Todd had ever believed him capable of and, just like that, was done and holding a pitcher filled with perfectly foamed milk.

“I do not really know my parents,” Jennifer quietly said.

“Oh… _Oh_!” Todd resisted the urge to pat Jennifer on the back, his throat still sore from the last time he’d attempted contact. “I’m so sorry,” he said, trying to hold back the inappropriate joy he felt from learning something about…whatever-Jennifer-was-and-why-he-was-wearing-Eliot’s-body.[iii]

“So I gave myself a name.” Jennifer turned his head toward Todd. “I do not need any one to name me.”

“You know what? You’re _so_ right, and I wish I was as bold as you.”

“Bold…”

Todd knew Jennifer was asking about the word itself rather than encouraging him to elaborate, but decided to ignore that.

“Well see, my full name is Eliot Todd—” A series of fire trucks drove by the shop, alarms blaring. “—o. But I go by Todd now because ("Who I wish was my real dad,” he thought) _someone_ decided that’s how it should be. And I respect that someone very much (“And I wish he would respect me back.”) but I sometimes feel like my life has always been just a string of people making choices for me.“

Jennifer hummed, his face finally relaxing.

"So,” Todd continued, feeling bold, “why did you choose ‘Jennifer’?”

“I saw a girl in the TV. She did a lot of murder, like me. But she was also trying to be a good friend, like me.”

“A girl in the TV?”

Jennifer’s expression tensed, as if in great effort.[iv]

“Quentin told me how you call it when it’s not real humans in the TV. I think it was a—”

Jennifer was staring past Todd and down, and for a second, it looked as if his eyes were shining red.

Todd turned to follow his gaze and saw the most adorable little girl staring back at Jen. The child looked like she’d been plucked straight from a fairy tale book: a round face with dimples etched in her cheeks even when she wasn’t smiling (which she definitely wasn’t), pretty bright dead eyes, and waves in her hair like lines in the sand of a zen garden… A “picture book perfect” little girl (or at least the version at the beginning of the story, before her evil stepmother inevitably tried to murder her).

“Oh, hi there! How may I help you?” Todd asked, customer service persona kicking in.

The cherub didn’t acknowledge him.

“Hello, brother,” she said flatly to Jennifer.

Todd all but squealed.

“You didn’t tell me you had a _sister_!” Todd felt light-headed from the news.

He jogged around the counter to get closer to the little angel, crouching when he reached her to get on her level.

“I’m Todd! Nice to meet you!”

The immaculate child finally turned her head toward him, making him realize he was _not_ on her level. (He was several levels below her; he was Jack looking up the beanstalk and seeing glimpses of giants.) She looked at him up and down with an expression of light annoyance mixed with a touch of irritation.

The munchkin started to raise her left hand, in a very similar way Jennifer did so many times before something terrible happened, and Todd saw his life flash before his eyes (birth, meeting Eliot, death).

“What are you doing here?” Jennifer asked, his voice unusually wavering.

The sister immediately forgot about Todd and turned back to her brother, her hand thankfully dropping back down.

“I just thought I would come check on my little brother.”

Little? Todd thought, now in hysterics. LITTLE?!

“Or should I say,” she paused to get on her tiptoes for a second so she could read her (LITTLE?!) brother’s name tag, “ _Jennifer_?”

Todd, wishing he’d mastered invisibility, stood slowly.

“I got myself a name.”

“I can see that. Where on this earth did you find it?” The little demon pointed her chin at Todd. “Did _it_ give it to you?”

“N-no actually,” Jennifer straightened himself up a little, “I gave it to myself.”

The sister hummed, unconvinced.

“So you, what, made it?” she scoffed. “Is this what you do now? You _make_ things?”

“I destroy _plenty_ ,” Jen replied, almost growling. “Making things is for l-losers,” he added, as Todd glanced at the metal pitcher Jennifer had been holding so strongly blood was trickling from the bottom of his fist onto the counter. The foam Jennifer had not-made earlier was so thick and perfect, it hadn’t deflated since the evil child had come in.

“Hm, losers,” the sister said, in the same tone of voice Jennifer used when he didn’t understand something.

“I found this name in a…a…” Jennifer averted his eyes.

“A movie?” Todd suggested, remembering the little he’d gotten out of his co-worker before that small ball of scare had interrupted them.

“A movie! Yes.”

“A movie.” The sister smiled slyly. “I didn’t think those would stick. Humans really are entertained by the smallest things.”

Silence filled the room, and Todd wondered if he had any antacid left at Brakebills.

After what felt like hours, the mini antichrist spoke again.

“That’s the stupidest name I’ve ever heard.”

The sister's throat split open with one wave of Jennifer's long fingers; the cut was so deep her head tilted back like a PEZ dispenser, distributing blood everywhere and making Todd taste copper.

“Oh good,” Jen said, cheering up, “I can practice _mopping_ again!”

The last thing Todd saw before fainting, was a small cloud of gold particles coming out from somewhere around Jen’s sister’s exposed windpipe.

* * *

 

 

 

i Since Jennifer’s introduction to the team and the few “incidents” that had come with it, Todd’s shifts ended up always consisting of only him and Jen, at the deadest hours of the day. Since Todd had been the first to remain unarmed after spending more than an hour with Jennifer, he couldn’t possibly blame the managers for this rearrangement of his working schedule. But that meant that he constantly had to choose between figuratively dying of boredom and, well, literally dying trying to interact with Jen.

ii That was a problem for later, an excuse to avoid Jennifer for a bit, when he needed to get some stress-free time before his Valium could kick in and take over.

iii When Todd realized Eliot hadn’t gone mad by deciding to leave Fillory to start working with him, he’d done a quick Mann Reveal but had seen nothing. Or rather, he'd seen a Nothingness. The spell had only revealed a bland vessel he couldn’t read; like a big chunk of rock only fueled by Jennifer’s terrifyingly powerful aura.

iv The type of effort Todd would make at 3 am, standing in front of his open mini fridge, trying to figure out what to eat between some mustard on toast and a blackened banana.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading, and remember that kudos and comments feed a writer! And if you liked this, do subscribe to this series to be notified when I post a new part.  
> This series was originally meant to be just a few fun scenes, but I'm starting to get ideas leading to Character Development so who knows what this is anymore. The only thing I can promise is that I want this series to stay fun (even if I end up adding the occasional angst here and there).
> 
> **Constructive** criticism is welcome!


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